he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
