it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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