i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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