This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Drunk is not a location!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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