Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
