so explain again why im purple
no
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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