Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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