That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
