they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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