I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Shame - the story of my life.
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