Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
