I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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