Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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