i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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