wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
