Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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