finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
