You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
