Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
