every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
