I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
