okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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