you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
