8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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