just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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