When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
