Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
