he wants to bone in the snuggie
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
