He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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