I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Vodka?
Forever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
