No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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