using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
