I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
