I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
