drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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