i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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