I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
