One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
