Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
