that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
