And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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