You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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