hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
