Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
