yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
