Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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