I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
