guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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