just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
