dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
