Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
