what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
