There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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