What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize