Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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